Worst case scenario: You cool on your attraction to them, in the meantime they fall hard—for both you and your favorite cafe. The whole situations evokes a kind of intimacy you just shouldn't mess with if you want to maintain a certain degree of distance with someone.
Once you pick up someone's snotty tissue balls or vice versa, there's no going back.
I actually just entered a Relationship this week after a looong period of non-serious dating, which will never not be an unnatural (yet fulfilling!
) project that I have to embark upon with calculated intention.
I needed to do all that dating before I was ready to be part of a Relationship. If you're a serial monogamist and you're trying to keep things chill with a new person, here's exactly how you do it: Open communication is traditionally regarded as super important in any kind of relationship, no matter how serious it is. Sorry, there's no way around it: Your relationship with someone—whether it's a one-night stand or a marriage—will be pretty fucked if you can't get onboard with being as honest as possible. If you're dating one person exclusively, no matter how casual you want to keep things, they can't stay that way. I'm sorry, because I'm sure you want to protest right now, but I stand by this assessment: If you are only dating one person for long enough, no attempts to keep things light and easy, no matter how earnest, will effectively prevent that person from turning into a monogamous paramour.
It offered a bit of breathing space, which, especially for people who tend to move directly from one relationship to another, can be a much-needed, incredibly valuable recovery period. Have a straight-up conversation early on to let the other person know you're not game for things to grow into something more extreme. It will happen, especially if you're already prone to getting couple-y with everyone you date.
This type of social interaction can cue way too much stress, and introducing that kind of social stress into a casual relationship defeats the purpose of keeping things non-serious. If the ratio is more individual friends than couples (and at least five of them to start with), it's probably a safe bet to bring someone you're only kinda involved with.
All that dissolved the first time we had a sexless sleepover together. Again, the dude in the above scenario didn't do anything wrong by expressing himself and his needs.
While this can extend to casual sex, it's more about the seriousness of the relationship than whether the parties are engaging in sexual intercourse.
When a couple is casually dating, this means that they aren't bound to each other in any way.
I didn't quite yet understand all the different things to be gained from having different kinds of dating situations of varying degrees of intensity.
Even when I tried to keep things casual, I would rapidly find myself ass-deep into another capital R Relationship—again.