"You might find that you don't even like the person," Allen tells Web MD.Other experts agree that sex too-soon can lead to undesirable consequences."It depends on how rapidly or slowly things progress." Joan Allen, a relationship expert, finds that baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than younger daters."Especially among older people who went through the sexual revolution, with maturity they realize there are emotional consequences for getting involved in a sexual relationship," says Allen, author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.While you can't apply a one-size-fits-all response to sexual dating rules regardless of age or experience, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules - before the big date.By and large, Allen and other relationship experts endorse a cautious approach to the dating rules of sex.
Mc Clary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date."The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells Web MD."I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.And I realize it’s because there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around.If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out…"My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.Her rationale for these dating rules may seem obvious, but many people tend to forget in the heat of the moment.Once you've decided what you want out of a date, say experts, you should make it part of your regular dating rules to tell your partner."If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them 'it's just sex I'm after,'" Mc Clary tells Web MD."It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.