If, three to six months later, the two of you are in a committed, sexually exclusive relationship, both of you should get tested and decide whether it’s appropriate to go condom-free.
You have plenty to think about and talk about before you decide whether to take sex further with this partner. —Joan Would you like to see more questions and answers?
At this point I’m okay with petting, but I don’t feel comfortable getting naked and doing more. First, I am very scared of having sex with someone who might have a sexually transmitted disease. So I would need to be sure the man was disease free before I would exchange any fluids, either through intercourse or fellatio.—Ambivalent About Sex As I say often, sex is never just about sex, and many components are contributing to your ambivalence: You’re concerned about rushing too fast, exposing yourself to STDs and not knowing how to please him; you’re not sure you would enjoy doing what he needs you to do and worry that the relationship won’t work out. There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other sensually and sexually without intercourse, as you’re discovering. Their erections and orgasms often require more attention from a partner.You say you don’t want to do prolonged manual or oral sex for him, but what if that’s what he needs?If a couple meets at age 21, that's different from meeting at 31, which itself provides a different context from meeting at 41.Further, some couples meet as strangers, while others have been friends for a long time prior to introducing any romantic element.Couples enter into relationships at different ages and stages in their lives; however, evaluating how well you know your partner, your relationship certainty, what you're expecting marriage will do to your relationship, and what you see as the current and anticipated quality of a relationship could be more useful ways to judge if it's truly time to take the plunge. The other night I lay in bed with him and we petted with our clothes on. I have a very high libido and want sex very much physically, but I’m not ready emotionally.If the idea of pleasuring him however he needs to be pleasured turns you off, maybe he’s not the partner you want. If we feel connected to a partner, we to give pleasure as well as receive it.Or are you reluctant because you fear you can’t satisfy him?Prior to entering a long-term commitment, consideration of you and your partner's long-term compatibility along the dimensions that connected you could be an important step in identifying potential "fatal attractions." 5.Do you expect that things will be different in marriage?