“I think the quality of sex is far more important than quantity,” Rader points out.
“Would you rather have sex twice a week with long, 1.5 hour-plus sessions with multiple orgasms, or quick, mediocre sessions each day?
As your relationship goes on for longer, you might decide you’d rather sleep in instead of waking up for morning sex before work.
As you move out of the "honeymoon phase" (no actual honeymoon required) and find your new normal, you may be totally fine with having sex less often.
Using data from the Marital and Relationship Survey, which provides information on nearly 600 low- to moderate-income couples living with minor children, their study examined the tempo of sexual intimacy and subsequent relationship quality in a sample of married and cohabiting men and women.
Their analyses also suggest that delaying sexual involvement is associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions.
These are important questions to ask since most single adults report that they desire to one day have a successful, lifelong marriage—and while dating, many couples move rapidly into sexual relationships. Couples who do nottest their sexual chemistry prior to the commitments of exclusivity, engagement, and marriage are often seen as putting themselves at risk of getting into a relationship that will not satisfy them in the future—thus increasing their probability of later marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
In fact, as noted in Figure 1, recent studies have found that between 30 and 40% of dating and married couples report having sex within one month of the start of their relationship, and the numbers are even higher for currently cohabiting couples. However, two recently published studies call into question the validity of testing sexual chemistry early in dating. This study involved a national sample of 2,035 married individuals who participated in the popular online couple assessment survey called “RELATE.” We found that the longer a dating couple waits to have sex, the better their relationship is after marriage.
But while you might start a new relationship thinking that your sex life will stay like this forever, usually, that’s not the case.
Or you might miss what sex was like in the early days of your relationship.
You might wonder, what would happen if you went back to having sex every day? A 2017 You Gov survey found that only 4% of adults say they have sex at least once a day.
Is it better to assess sexual compatibility early in dating or to delay having sex? The Tempo of Sexual Activity and Later Relationship Quality. Note: Data are from the Marital and Relationship Survey. Let’s take a look at what research tells us about these questions. Sexual Restraint The current dating culture often emphasizes that two people should test their “sexual chemistry” before committing to each other.
Does “true love wait” or should you “test drive” a relationship before saying I do? This type of compatibility is frequently mentioned as an essential characteristic for people to seek out in romantic relationships, particularly ones that could lead to marriage.